I’ve just finished reading Straw Dogs by John Gray, an incredible book that looks at our nature and argues that we’re closer to animals than we may wish to concede. It’s a revolutionary read that insists we are not in control of our own world and commanding our will upon things can only lead to misery. Of course here are strong links to Taoism and I found the book incredibly enlightening, very timely and perhaps quite a useful tool for a woman of a certain age to find peace in being, first and foremost, herself.

In Western tradition movements such as meritocracy and feminism and post-feminism have nurtured us into believing we can have it all, be anything, ‘achieve’ and thus find ‘purpose’ in our lives. Included in such fortunes that must befall us are a career, beauty, marriage and the ability to bare beautiful babies. ‘Progress and technology’ (which Gray argues are not purely helpful things) are offered up to ‘help’ us along. As we hit our mid-30s, women, (if we’ve got the readies, i.e. why we need that status job) we can command baby botox, dating sites and IVF. Given these contemporary wonders, if you’re committed and ambitious enough, there is really no reason to fail. Now, we’re all thankful for meritocracy and feminism and I am not saying that any of the above goals in life is bad. Hell in an ideal world I want the whole package too, but the reality is we do not live in an ideal world, we live in world that is equal in tragedy and joy, and it is through us trying to gain control over it that has led us into pits of universal and personal misery. I think we owe it to ourselves to find a new way of being. As Gray summarises ‘Spiritual life is not a search for meaning but a release from it.’

On a lighter note, take a look at these little fellas and recognise a shared spirit with humanity. (Oh and check the monkey’s little fists.)